In the dark

There’s this guy I know, and this guy, and this guy

There’s this guy I know
Big hands and a crooked smile
—jawline, kindest eyes
——he looks, he seems to like, does not dare to reach out
———respect and connection
There’s this guy I know
Keen and witty, the sharpest blade I know
—bold yet collected
——kindness hidden
———his voice is music to me
There’s this guy I know
A world inside, the binding trust of shared pasts
—wandering, not quite lost
——safe and comforting
———sweet confidence
So there I am, with three guys in my life
The world to me, a closeness I learned to cherish
—despite the fear
——the insecurities
—no acknowledgement, no commitment
strangely, no pain too, it all seems to make sense
to me
But is love still meaningful when it stays unspoken?
Will they make space for when I start seeking warmth?
—Does it merely start at three?
I walk on three edges,
—high in the sky,
——can’t see the safety net
If they shift, I will probably bleed
I don’t want to fall